


Red Paint District

by AndeliaMaddock



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: AI learning, Creampie, Ed-E perspective, Extremely Dubious Consent, I know, I'm not sorry, M/M, Multi, Other, Pornography Filming, Prostitution, Red Paint, Robot Sex, Robot/Human Relationships, Rough Sex, Slow building human/robot relationship, Straight up rape, Verbal Humiliation, Wrestling, chassis stroking, steel wool, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 20:37:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndeliaMaddock/pseuds/AndeliaMaddock
Summary: I started this as a joke. I write seriously, even when I want it to be funny, because I like that better than ZOMG SO RANDOM. Still.  "Oh, haha," I foolishly say to myself as I open up my fresh google doc and set the writing timer, "I'm going to write this funny thing. It'll be great, people will love it."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this as a joke. I write seriously, even when I want it to be funny, because I like that better than ZOMG SO RANDOM. Still. "Oh, haha," I foolishly say to myself as I open up my fresh google doc and set the writing timer, "I'm going to write this funny thing. It'll be great, people will love it."

 

Ed-E floated with soft hums above the wooden flooring at the bottom of the stairs. Ed-E waited for another directive.

“Oh man, would you look at you? Who brought you to me, sweetheart?” A low human voice spoke nearby. A hand reached out, though sensors didn’t indicate it meant to harm.

Sensors perceived the hand touched along the chassis. Ed-E remained in place.

“You’re not the uh, one that new guy in town was gonna wrangle up for me, are you? Oh man, if you are, you’re a lot smaller than I expected. Not that size is an issue, I'm sure you'll be great.” That hand continued to stroke the chassis.

Ed-E remained in place, though the sensors indicated that the human’s temperature and heart rate went up. Both pupils also dilated. These signs in conjunction were a potential sign of dangerous intent. The pitch remained low and decreased in volume, with no clear violence suggested in tone or words.

Previous directives informed Ed-E: remain in place, do not attack unless [owner name] is attacked.

Ed-E followed directives.

The owner of the voice spoke, “Such a pretty thing you are. I bet you’ve got all sorts of things you could show me. How about you come upstairs with me, sweet thing.” The hand pressed itself over lights and sensors and thick durable metal.

“James, what the fuck. I got bit by like five rats trying to get you FISTO, and you’re over there fondling Ed-E?” [Owner name] spoke in its usual manner, though sensors indicated heavy fluctuations in emotions, based on heart rate, pupil size, and a myriad of other factors.

“Ed-E? That’s the name? I like it.” The owner of the low voice stepped away and removed its hand. “Pretty name for a pretty robot. Is uh, what those fucking fetishists would--”

“Cut the bullshit, James. I brought you a robot that’s actually programmed for fucking, but if you want it, you’re going to pay me an extra fee for the way you manhandled my eyebot. Those things aren’t cheap either.” [Owner name] stepped forward and raised one brow half an inch over its normal resting spot, parallel with the other eyebrow.

“You’re telling me there’s two robots in the building right now?” The voice owner began to perspire more heavily, despite how the heat remained the same throughout the hallway.

“Yeah, so? Oh, fuck. _James,_ I’m not letting you take Ed-E too. I have some fighting that needs done and she’s not even programmed for that sorta shit.”

“She could just watch. And maybe uh, tape it. I’ve got a visual holodisk recorder upstairs I could attach to her.”

“You’re a real twisted individual. 800 caps, and you can have her for the night.”

“800, including FISTO, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Fuck. Fine, but if she’s broken after this, it’s coming out of your hide. You’re not the only one with some fucked up fetishes. If she’s even got a scratch, you’ll have a lot more than that. Got it?”

“Fine, whatever, just tell her to listen to me tonight, and I’ll keep her in good hands.” That voice owner extended its right hand and took in the right hand of [Owner name.]

“Ed-E. This is James Garret. For the next 12 hours, you’re to respond to his orders.”

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative. Directive received.

[Owner name] turned to James Garret and nodded its head. “Good luck trying to figure out how to get Ed-E to work for anything besides shooting lasers at bad guys.”

“Oh, I can be a very bad boy.”

“Jesus fuck. Keep that shit away from me.” [Owner name] stepped through the doorway into the front room.

A large metal protectron stepped into the hallway and proclaimed, “I am FISTO. Fully Integrated Security Technetronic Officer active and reporting for duty. Please assume the position.”

“Holy shit you’re even bigger than I thought you’d be. Wow.” James Garret looked to FISTO with wide eyes and extremely dilated pupils. “Oh, we are going to have a great time tonight. FISTO, get upstairs. Ed-E, follow FISTO.”

Directive understood. Ed-E beeped in the affirmative. Directive understood. Ed-E floated an inch behind FISTO and beeped in the affirmative. Directive understood. FISTO moved one step and Ed-E beeped in the affirmative. Directive understood. Ed-E floated an inch behind FISTO and beeped. FISTO took another step and...

“On second thought, Ed-E, why don’t you hover behind me? Let ol’ FISTO there get his sea legs, while I get you all nice and pretty for the big show.”

Hover behind James Garret. Directive received and understood. Ed-E beeped in the affirmative and followed behind James Garret.

\---~~~---

James’s face appeared in full view of the lens of the visual holodisk recorder. “Is this thing--oh there’s the light. Yeah!” A grin spread across his face and he looked up and to the left, “And here comes the man of the hour. FISTO, you stand by the bed, I’ll lock the door. Wouldn’t want Francine coming in on things. She wasn’t uh… wasn’t too happy last time.”

FISTO took heavy steps to the spot indicated by a pointed finger, “Yes, sir.”

The camera could only see half of FISTO’s chassis, from chipped lines of lighter and darker gray paint, down to short metal legs that held the massive upper body upright. FISTO’s right hand raised and it opened and closed its three fingers.

The lock clicked into place in the distance. Footsteps sounded. James’ legs came into view, right beside FISTO. Arms began to stroke and fondle FISTO’s form. “Oh, we are going to have a good fucking time tonight, FISTO, a good _fucking_ time.”

“Please assume the position.”

James gave a throaty laugh and moved up behind FISTO, though only the lower bodies could be seen. “Oh, no, not yet my thick robot friend. I want to really enjoy this. Oh, wait, Ed-E, can you tilt back a bit?”

The camera moved back until it focused directly on a gray spider that crawled along the ceiling.

“Not that much! But, that’s ok. You’re new. Here, let me fix you up.” The camera was reaffixed to Ed-E at the correct angle until everything was crystal clear shades of gray and James smiling. He winked.

“Now, you just float right there. That’s a good girl.” James reached up and then in, beyond what the camera could see. “Shame you’re just the camera worker… though, maybe when FISTO and I finish up, I’ll see about putting that in his nice big hands and having a spin with you.”

Ed-E beeped loudly. It cut into the sound of the audio enough to blot out what James said next.

Then James laughed. “Alright, you just stay put, don't worry about it. FISTO, I’ll get the things I need, you get those motors whirring.”

“Yes, sir.” FISTO began to whir and hum loudly.

“Aw man, I didn’t even know you could do that. Though, that might make the audio shit. Can you do it more quietly?” Jame nodded and stepped over to FISTO, in full view of the camera this time. Hands slid and groped from behind, all around the slightly rusted chassis. “That's right, purr for me. You look like you’re in need of a good rubdown, baby.”

“I do not require your services, as my servos are fully functional. I am here for your pleasure.”

“And my pleasure would be to buff away all that rust and make you nice and shiny new, alright? Now, you just sit pretty and let daddy get to work.” Jame pressed a quick kiss to the metal that served as a neck, then stepped out of frame.

A drawer opened. Several long moments passed, and James came into view wearing gloves and holding a pad of steel wool, a soft looking cloth, and a bottle of something viscous that shifted and rolled within. “There we go. Hey, if this works fine, maybe I’ll buff you down too, Ed-E. Make you nice and clean like the good girl you are… before I get you dirty again.” He chuckled low and set the oil and cloth beside FISTO’s feet.

James scrubbed FISTO down and pulled specks of rust away. “Poor thing, look at how time’s treated you. I’ll make you look brand-fucking-new. Yes, I will.” The words were slow and almost a whisper like he was talking to himself even as he scrubbed so carefully at the massive sections of rust.

FISTO shifted and his ball bearing legs cracked a bit, scraped rust against rust.

“It goes all the way down, does it? Oh, don’t you worry that painted frame of yours, I’ve got you covered.” He pressed a kiss right to a spot he’d cleared of rust and paint. “Go sit on the bed. Let daddy get to work.”

FISTO moved out of frame.

James moved out of frame.

“Oh yeah, look at you. I’m gonna buff you so hard. You’re going to shine like a brand new protectron. You’ll make all the other robots jealous. I have half a mind to walk you over to the Strip and show those filthy fucking securitrons just what a robot should look like. God, look at your curves.” Every other word or so was affected with a grunt and the heavy sound of steel wool against rusted steel.

The bed squeaked a bit.

“Yeah, flex those legs.” More furious scrubbing, “Yeah, fuck, I think I’ll get Ralph to sell me a primer, spray you all up and down that gorgeous body. Then what color should I paint you, FISTO?”

“I do not know, sir..”

“Well, list a color. You know colors, right?”

“Red. Yes, sir, I know colors. I am equipped with basic color sensors.”

“Fuck, that is so hot. It’ll fit you like a glove, all shiny and sleek all up and down your torso. Hey, Ed-E?”

The beep was quieter, not so harsh to the audio.

“Do you have color sensors?”

Ed-E chirped.

“Mmm, that sounds like a yes. Let’s go with that--it’s hotter if you can sense what I’m doing anyway.”

Ed-E’s beep was lower.

James chuckled. “Well, all that work paid off. First round of rust is off. I can do more later. A little elbow grease and you’ll be shining.” James stepped into frame, wearing nothing more than a pair of black briefs, crouched down to pick up the oil and rag, then turned and sauntered back to FISTO. “Once I’ve got you all lubed up, I’m gonna take you for a test drive, FISTO.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Shit, the recorder didn’t catch any of that, did it? Ed-E, turn uh, 45 degrees to your left. I want you to get this in the shot.”

Ed-E spun as commanded with a loud long string of beeps.

“Turn another 10 degrees to your left.”

Ed-E spun as commanded with a short beep.

“Yeah, perfect. I wish you could zoom that thing in, but I guess I wouldn’t know how good the shot is anyway. It doesn’t matter.” James twisted off the metal cap on the oil, then poured some over FISTO’s upper frame, “I’m gonna give you the works. Yeah, look at that oil, so slick on you. God, you’re going to be so shiny and smooth. Look at those fingers.” James whistled loud and low, “Do you have an uh… phallic attachment?”

“I will require a hardware and software upgrade to offer enhanced services.”

“What uh… what services do you offer?” James rubbed sweat away on the back of his palm, then leaned in and continued to buff the oil into the steel with short circular strokes.

“My services include sexual stimulation of erogenous zones to the point of orgasm, direct application of--”

\---~~~---

“Fucking what? It cut out! I paid Ralph good money for 6 hours of video. This is bullshit.”

“And you paid for 12 hours of time with Ed-E. No scratches. Remember?” [Owner name] put its hand over James Garret’s shoulder and tugged James Garret closer. “Yet here we are.” It pointed towards Ed-E.

Ed-E waited for a directive.

“She's not scratched!"

[Owner name] stared at James Garret.

"I mean, ok, sure, I went a little overboard. But that’s not really my fault. If you think about it, I didn’t even charge you for the paint, or that detail work. I mean that is some good paint. It matches the license plate perfectly too. She’s beautiful…” James Garret’s eyes looked directly at Ed-E’s visual sensors. “All that red…”

[Owner name] exhaled with 65% more force than usual.

Ed-E beeped and moved closer, alert for danger.

“She doesn’t seem all that thrilled, James. And neither am I… though, you did promise.”

“What?”

“If you messed up Ed-E, I’d get to mess you up.”

“You’re fucking joking. Kid, I know you’re not going to try something with me. You know who I am.”

“Well, there’s that, or I go around with Ed-E painted red.”

“She looks great that way.”

“And with a sign on her that says ‘James Garret is a robot fucker.’”

“You… you fucking wouldn’t. That’s low, even for a real mixed-bag like you.”

“Tick tock, James. Stick to your end of the agreement, or don’t and everyone finds out. I mean, Ed-E isn’t all that great for stealth now, so I’d only take her to the big places with lots of people where I don’t need to--”

“Alright, fine. You’ve got me cornered. What uh, what exactly do you want from me?”

“Get on your knees.” [Owner name] turned its lips up in a show of pleasure. Its eyebrows ducked down in a show of: Unknown.

Ed-E beeped.

“Yeah, Ed-E you just stay here. He likes robots so much, he probably won’t mind you watching.”

James Garret knelt in between the knees of [owner name] and positioned itself forward until its face pressed to [owner name’s] thighs. “You get off on extortion, or what, pal?”

“Extortion? James, it’s not extortion if you agreed to it without coercion. And no, having your dick practically ripped through your pants because you’re so hot for Ed-E isn’t coercion when you agree to shit you might not want.” [Owner name] gripped James Garret by the back of the skull and squeezed. [Owner name’s] face had the appearance it might have when a fight was about to occur. “Now open up.”

“Great.” James Garret opened his mouth.

James Garret did not have a pleased expression on its face.

Ed-E beeped loudly.

[Owner name] looked up and smiled. “Relax, Ed-E. This isn’t a fight unless I say otherwise. Besides, he’ll like it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Not yet. I like to go slow. I figure, your sis isn’t gonna be up here for a while, might as well take my time, right?” [Owner name] opened the front zipper of its pants and pulled a length of flesh out. It was more rigid in appearance and warmer than times when Ed-E had sensed it before.

[Owner name] tugged James Garret in by the back of the head.

James Garret’s lips stretched wide around [owner name’s] flesh. It made loud, aggressive noises. It struggled to pull back, against the hands that held it down. Its hands pushed at [owner name’s] thighs. Its fingers curled and scratched at [owner name’s] pants. It seemed to be unable to breathe through either of its breathing orifices.

[Owner name] released Jame Garret’s head.

James Garret breathed harder than usual. James Garret attempted to pull all the way off.

[Owner name] pulled James Garret back in. [Owner name] forced its hips up off the mattress and inserted even more of itself into James Garret.

Ed-E beeped. Loudly.

“Chill out, Ed-E. He’s getting off on it. Look how hard he is.”

Ed-E positioned above James Garret and read the signs presented. Ed-E beeped louder.

“Jesus, Ed-E. It’s been 12 hours, he’s not in charge of you, you don’t have to look after him.”

James Garret pulled back. “It’s ok. I’m into this, baby.”

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative and floated back a bit.

“Yeah, whatever.” [Owner name] forced James Garret’s head back down onto the flesh. “I want you naked and on the bed.” It removed its hand from James Garret’s head. “Don’t fuck around, I don’t have forever.”

James Garret stood and divested its outer layers until it was all skin. Like the night before, it had a thickness of flesh that rose and bobbed. Like before, it smiled. James Garret lay on his back on the bed.

“Yeah, that’s right. But roll over. Let me see your ass.”

James Garret let out a sharp exhale and its eyebrows pulled in closer over the bridge of his nose. “Yeah? Or what?”

[Owner name] wrestled James Garret, with strong limbs over strong limbs. It tangled with James Garret until body mashed with body and everything became hot and slick according to Ed-E’s steamed sensors.

“Jesus fucking Christ kid. Even FISTO used… ung.” James Garret bit the back of his hand.

Ed-E beeped.

[Owner name] pushed the flesh deeper. “Used what? Lube? Cry about it. Go ahead.” [Owner name] gripped James Garret by its wrists and pushed them against the pillow with enough force to dent the firm material in. “I could use those tears as lube you know…”

“You’re a real… ugh. Fucking sick fuck.”

“Says the robot fetishist. ‘Something real wrong with you, if you gotta fuck a machine’. You aren’t convincing anyone.”

“At least… I make them feel good.” It grunted and renewed its struggles. One hand ripped free and smacked back at [owner name].

“Right. I’m sure Ed-E beeped real fucking happy when you were jamming your dick against her metal.”

“I… didn’t do that. I just… fuck you.”

[Owner name] bit it on a bared shoulder, then said, “You are. Or, at least, you’re being fucked by me.” It smiled in that same way. It pulled out. It forced James Garret’s hips up. It entered once more. It increased its pace until Ed-E’s sensors had a hard time picking up every motion.

Ed-E floated closer. Ed-E beeped quietly at James Garret.

James Garret showed mixed signals. It seemed to respond like it had with FISTO. It seemed to respond like enemies did when [owner name] attacked. James Garret looked up and smiled. “Maybe… she shouldn’t watch.”

[Owner name] hit James Garret on its posterior. “Worried she might attack you? Don’t worry… she won’t unless I tell her to. You won’t make me do that, will you?”

James Garret lowered its head until the top of it brushed the pillow harder with each thrust. Its mouth hung open and low noises escaped. “You’re a bastard. A real… piece of garbage.”

[Owner name] decreased its speed. It increased depth reached. “Don’t worry. I won’t use you too hard. What’s that you said? ‘You break it, you buy it’?” It laughed. “I wouldn’t mind breaking you, but even I have a hard cap limit and I think you’re _probably_ out of my price range.”

“You’re… damn right I am.” It shut its eyes and clutched the pillow. “You gonna keep talking, or finish up fucking? I’ve actually got things to do, so...”

Its hand held James Garret at the back. It pushed James Garret down, harder than required.

Ed-E descended until right next to the two on the bed, barely floating at all.

“Almost wish I could record this myself. Too bad you ran outta space.” [Owner name] thrust one more time and held himself in. “Can you feel it?”

“Can I feel a visit to the Followers coming up? Absolutely.” James Garret lifted its head enough to say that, then lowered it once more into the pillow.

“Heh. I might be filthy, but I’m clean.” It removed itself from James Garret.

A fluid seeped from James Garret. Whitish with a tinge of pink, it moved down along contours of the skin until it dripped onto the mattress. “I’ve heard that one before. Best to be safe anyway. Wouldn’t want a social disease from an asocial fuck like you.

“You’re such a charmer.” [Owner name] rolled onto its back beside James Garret.

"So..." James Garret stroked its posterior.

"Yeah?"

"If Ed-E isn't stealthy enough for you and you can't really use her..."

[Owner name] laughed more loudly than usual. "Look, I'm not giving her to you. Even if I can't get the paint off, she's _mine_. I like having her around. I use her to hold stuff and zap shit."

James Garret remained on its stomach on the mattress. "Maybe we could... come to an agreement?"

[Owner name] smiled, but its eyes had a different--prior to that date unknown--expression. "Let's cut the vague crap, James."

"You seemed pretty into doing that. I'm pretty into her, into both of them. I'd rather not hemorrhage caps anymore, if I can help it, but I don't mind bleeding a bit for what I want. There, that clear enough, or should I talk slower?"

"That could work." It sat up and positioned itself onto the floor. "Fight a little bit more next time though."

"Buddy, if I fight a little bit more next time, it'll be my cock in your tight little ass."

"I'm not saying no. Well, I would be, but so did you, and I saw how much you got into it."

James Garret let out a low noise and turned its head from side to side, "Whatever you want. Could you leave Ed-E here then?"

"What, you want me to pick her up tomorrow and give you the work-over again? Are you eager for me, or for her?"

"Her. But... I guess you're a bonus. I'm not against more slap than tickle, if you know what I mean."

[Owner name] laughed once more and redressed. "Same here. Yeah, I can leave Ed-E."

"Send Fisto up for me too, would you?"

"You're fucking insatiable, man. I didn't even get to see what he did to you on that holodisk, but I could _see_ the bruises, before I made my own."

"Oh, look at Mr. Sadist, the judge of other people's business. Just do it, would you?"

"Yeah, whatever. Ed-E, remain with James Garret until I arrive. Follow his directions until I arrive."

Ed-E beeped. Ed-E watched it walk away.

The door shut.

James Garret walked over and stroked Ed-E's chassis.

"Such a pretty red hot robot. I don't regret a thing. Do you?" He stroked right next to her heat sensors. He was hot as well.

She moved towards the touches and beeped softly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed-E learns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pronouns and names become more fiddly here, but it follows a natural progression as far as Ed-E is concerned. That's a feature, not a bug. 
> 
> Also, Ed-E will start just using James in her pov. Soon.

 

James Garret perspired all along his body. He kept his mouth open, as though to speak, but uttered nothing intelligible to Ed-E. If it was a coded message, Ed-E did not possess the key to decipher it.

Ed-E still focused all her sensors on him, just in case a directive might slip through.

FISTO pushed a third metal digit within James Garret. “Is this position to your liking, sir?”

“Y-yes, oh god yeah. Get all those digits in there. I can take it.” James Garret clutched the sheets. His face scrunched in an odd way, as far as most faces Ed-E had seen.

Ed-E whirred a bit louder and hovered closer.

“Hey there, sweetheart. Interested in… what I’m doing?”

Ed-E defocused her sensors to process the greater scene. FISTO’s chassis thrust forward with every jerk of the metal hand within James Garret. With every thrust from FISTO, James Garret gripped then released the sheet in a loop that was dependent on FISTO's actions.

“F-Fisto…” James Garret broke the loop and stroked perspiration from his brow and forehead. “Pull out for a moment.”

FISTO did as ordered. It removed his hand from James Garret’s orifice. “I am yours to command.”

“That’s good. I just had an idea.” The face winced. He sat up and moved over to a dresser. The dresser squeaked. He pulled out a thick long purple cylindrical object with a bulge then a taper at the end.

Ed-E floated closer, scanned the item. Uncertain, she scanned it again. Nothing of note.

“Alright, I know Francine’s got a harness here somewhere…” He knelt down, then lay on his side and reached for something beneath the mattress. “There it is. She won’t know if I borrow this.” He returned to an upright position, with a harness made of some sort of thick leather.

James Garret had a difficult time. He grunted and strained. He cursed softly. He tried to get FISTO to lay down but that worked poorly. Eventually, the protectron wore the harness, with the thick something strapped within it.

“Alright, now, can you pick me up?”

“My servos allow this action.” FISTO placed both arms before him. “I will pick you up now.”

“Good. But first, when you pick me up, I want you to use that little dildo in there and fuck me with it. Do you understand?”

“This is an unapproved hardware upgrade. Proceed?”

“Absolutely.”

“Hardware upgrade accepted. Please see your certified Cerulean Robotics representative for [INFORMATION REDACTED.] Should any injuries occur, Cerulean Robotics takes no legal liability once unofficial hardware upgrades are made.”

James Garret chuckled and stepped forward. “I’d love to, but I’ve got enough redactions already. I just want you and Ed-E right now.”

FISTO lifted James Garret. He pulled James Garret down.

James Garret clutched at the air. His lips curled up, his eyebrows curled in, his eyes shut.

Ed-E beeped loudly and hovered beside FISTO. She turned and adjusted her sensors to focus on James Garret. His posterior parted wide and the purple object moved 7 inches within his body. FISTO lifted James Garret, pulled him nearly off, with only the bulge at the end that remained lodged within, then the protectron brought him back down another 9 inches.

“Oh fuck… oh, Christ. That's it Fisto. Pound me. Take me hard.” He grit his teeth and it made the words more difficult to perceive, though they still could be.

“Understood.” FISTO raised James Garret once more, then lowered him as quickly. All 10 inches fit inside.

“Oh fucking hell, take me. Take me. Oh fuck, I could come just from that.” He then loosened his responses to single syllables. Some were words, some were not.

Ed-E moved towards James Garret’s head.

“Oh, hey there… pretty girl. Want to have… oh yeah... a piece of… oh fuck, I’m…”

The words were coded. Ed-E beeped loudly.

“Let me kiss you, please.”

Ed-E lowered even further and sensed his lips against her chassis. All over her chassis. Up and down FISTO raised him, yet he maintained contact.

Nothing touched Ed-E except [owner name] to store items or roughly pull them out.

James Garret kissed and said many words, most undecipherable. Then he leaked white once more, shot it out in a fountain onto the floor.

Ed-E maintained her position, as per the directive.

“Fisto, buddy, let me down. I think that’s about all I should… take if I’m on shift soon.”

“Yes, sir. You are released.” FISTO’s large arms placed James Garret onto the floor.

He stepped into a bit of his leak on the carpet and laughed. “I haven’t come like that in a while. That’s way better than anything that Luke guy did.” He rubbed his eyes and stretched out his limbs. “I should shower… You two stay here while I clean up. Then I’ll come and scrub you a bit more, Fisto. You could really use it to get all that rust away.”

“Understood.”

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative.

James Garret smiled at her. “You’re a pretty good kisser.” He rubbed her chassis, patted her once, then retrieved a robe from a hook on the wall, wore it, and left.

Eleven minutes later, someone walked in. It was not James Garret. “What in the fucking… James!”

“Whoa, Francine! Is there, uh, something wrong?” His voice called from down the hall. It was muffled by the sound of water.

The new one seemed angry. Lips curled, eyebrows downturned, hands clenched at the sides of a business suit. “Get your ass in here, and I’ll tell you.” It walked closer, examined FISTO. “I swear to God, James! You’re lucky you’re my twin, or Caleb would be hearing about this.”

James Garret entered the room. Wet footprints followed him. His hair stuck up, and his robe stuck against his body. “Francine, I can explain. It’s not what it looks like.” Hands moved up, palms outward facing. He moved between FISTO and the aggressive one.

“Oh, really? Because it looks like you had a robot fuck your happy ass.”

“Well, only because--”

“Using my harness! I’m surprised it’s not my toy in there. If someone else tried that shit, you know I’d have their hat on my wall.”

Ed-E hovered between them and beeped. Loudly. Several staccato bursts of sound.

James Garret moved around Ed-E until he blocked the sensors from visually processing the entire scene. “Francine, I’m sorry. Look, I’ll get you another one, even have Ralph make it himself if you like.”

Ed-E floated higher, to perceive the threat better.

It tapped one foot. It crossed both arms. “Fine. But you’re on ice, James.” It looked upwards, at Ed-E. “I don’t know why you like bots so much. A nice whore’s a much better time. Hell, drink up a little and you’d have way more fun by yourself than with whatever,” it gestured tight at Ed-E, then turned enough to point at FISTO, “they are.”

“I don’t judge you for the--”

“James!”

“Francine.”

Ed-E beeped.

“And I don’t like the way it’s looking at me. Make it stop.”

“Ed-E, would you please shut the door?”

Ed-E waited a moment. To fully process. Then, finally, Ed-E moved to the door and used her weight to shut it.

“There, she’s not looking at you.”

“Robots like that make me twitchy. Keep an eye on her and I don’t care. And clean up, would you?”

“I actually planned to clean up. Despite that time when--”

“Lay off the horn! I already apologized for that.” It smiled, against its tone. “This weekend, I’m getting a day off and going harness shopping and it’s coming out of your budget.”

He rolled his shoulders back. “That’s fine. Now, can I get dressed, or are you going to mouth off about that too?”

It laughed, “Mouth off? I could kick your ass, James. I probably should. It’s been some time since we’ve had a good sibling beatdown, and you already look wrecked. It'd be almost too easy.”

“You’d still lose.” He opened his dresser and pulled out a shirt.

“Oh yeah?”

“Definitely.”

“And why’s that, tough guy?”

He grinned over his shoulder at her. “Because you always do.” He laughed.

“Yeah, when we were 12. I’ve been practicing. All it looks like you’ve been practicing is how to get your ass kicked.” It laughed too though, in that slightly higher tone. “Remind me not to pick up a robot fetish while I’m at my others. You look like shit.”

He shook his head. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Alright.” It turned and left.

Ed-E returned to him immediately. Sensors perceived he didn’t seem to be in need of immediate assistance. Still, she opened her storage compartment and dispensed one of the medical items [owner name] often demanded.

“Whoa. Are you giving that to me? Heh. It’d serve the bastard right if I used it, especially after what Luke did to me, tearing me right up.”

What Luke did to James.

Ed-E did not beep.

He lifted the stimpack. “If he notices it gone though, I’ll need at least another two to fully recover. Much as I don’t like to admit it, that guy’s a bit of a hardass. I don’t know if even Caleb could take him out. Not that I need to have Caleb try. I’ve got a bit of healing powder anyway, so that’ll have to do. Could use a stimpack, but those cost money and there's still Francine and her harness...” He set the stimpack back in and shut Ed-E’s compartment.

She closed with a metal click.

Ed-E did not beep.

James dressed quietly. Bruises spotted his skin in the shape of human handprints.

\---~~~---

Luke inserted the holodisk into Ed-E’s receiver. “Best purchase I ever made. Let’s see if it worked.”

Ed-E scanned and projected the contents of the disk.

\---~~~---

Luke pushed James to the bed. “Come on. I thought I told you to fight back.”

“You barely came in the door!” James pulled his arm back, then went to swing.

With apparent ease, Luke caught the fist and slapped it back onto the mattress. “Excuses. If you’re not even going to fight back, I guess you really want it. I'll give it to you.”

With a grunt, James arched his back hard against the mattress and attempted to roll Luke off.

No such luck. Luke stood nearly a foot taller and he just grinned down at James in response. “I thought of some fun new things we could do.”

“I bet you did, you sick fuck.”

“How’d it feel fucking Ed-E by the way? Did you slam that little prick into her compartment? I noticed things were moved around. I might have to try that myself.”

James tossed Luke off and kicked him right between the legs. “Don’t you touch her.” Cold anger filled those words.

Luke grunted, then curled his lips in a snarl. His voice was tighter but he didn't back away. “Why not? She’s mine. I’m just whoring her out to you. Or, you’re whoring yourself out to me? Isn’t that the Atomic Wrangler way? ‘Pick your fix, and we’ll oblige’.”

James kicked out again. James fell back onto the mattress, struggled to pull his leg free from the grip. Hands braced back on the bed and he attempted to work leverage out into his favor.

With a sigh, Luke stood. He twisted the ankle in his hand. “I wish you hadn’t done that. I said fight, not make it harder to fuck. That’s alright though.” He stepped in and pinned James’ leg right to their own ass. “I’m sure you’ll figure out who's in charge. Or, you’ll make me eat my words. I don’t really care which--”

James swiped the other leg up, right in between Luke’s own. Again. “Fuck you.”

\---~~~---

“I’m kicking Ralph’s ass. Two corrupted disks in a row?” It pressed the eject button and tugged the disk free. “Or… maybe you’re broken? Are you broken, Ed-E?”

Ed-E did not beep.

“You’ve been pretty quiet lately. Maybe that robot fucker really did mess with you too hard. Did he loosen some of your screws when he screwed you?”

Ed-E did not beep.

Luke’s face turned unpleasant. “Well, I bet he’d buy you for a ton. After all, he broke you, he bought you.”

Ed-E beeped quietly.

“That, or I could just make him pay his tab, little bit at a time. His talk might be cheap, but those lips are great.” Luke reached up and groped the button to her compartment.

Ed-E’s beep sputtered and her holodisk compartment sparked.

“Fucking Christ.” He hit her chassis with a closed fist tap. “Open up.”

She clicked open.

It took everything out and placed it into the lumpy backpack. “It’s probably that stupid red paint. I told him not to break the merchandise. You can take a barrage of bullets, but you can’t take a few coats of paint. Pathetic.” It moved to the door without a glance backward.

She adjusted her laser scope.

Then she hovered lower and followed after it like she always did. Out the door, into Freeside. Then over to James’ place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's just a JOOOOKE I scream to the stars as I rocket off into space with the force of how much this became serious to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed-E remembers.

“Hey, your brother upstairs?” It tapped the counter, leaned in towards Francine.

“What’s it to you, trouble-maker?” She glared over at it, then slapped her clean cloth down on the bar and leaned in as well.

“He broke my bot and I want him to fix it.”

“If either of us was gonna be a mechanic, it’d be me. And I can’t fix that thing.”

“Then he’ll have to replace it I guess. Or pay for it to be fixed. It’s scrap metal otherwise. Real expensive scrap metal.”

“First my harness now this…” She shook her head and took a sip of water. “He’s bleeding caps right now, but if he invited this, then fine. He’s probably sleeping though.”

“So, upstairs?”

“He needs his sleep. You shouldn’t go up there.”

“I have an arrangement with him. He won’t mind.”

She followed after it a few steps. “Look, buddy. I know the shit you pull on the Strip, and this ain’t there. If you hurt my brother, you’ll be owed a lot more than some caps.”

Luke smiled at her. “Don’t worry. I’m a reasonable guy. I just want to know what he thinks we should do.”

She crossed her arms but nodded. “Well, fine. But if I have to run my shift over because he won’t wake up in time, drinks are 20% higher for you from now on. And I know where you sleep. Don't forget.”

Luke nodded. “Got it. Seeya.”

Ed-E followed its slow footsteps up the stairs.

Ed-E waited as it pulled out a lockpick from its bag and worked it within the doorknob. Ed-E waited as it stood tall once more and stepped into the room on quiet feet that barely registered even to her audio sensors.

Ed-E waited all that time with her laser pointed right at the back of its head.

James spread his limbs in every direction on the bed. His brown hair, normally wet-looking and to the side, flicked out in several different directions. His mouth hung open as he slept and tiny noises escaped his throat.

Luke crept towards him. Right beside the bed, he crouched and leaned in. “Heya, James.”

James flipped onto his back, eyes wide and chest heaving. “What?”

Luke laughed harshly. The tone grated on Ed-E’s sensors. “Ed-E’s broken.”

Palms pressed to bedding. James sat fully upright. “Where is… she’s right there.”

“Yeah, but she’s broken. She wouldn’t play that holo for you, and she wouldn’t play mine for me, not beyond like, a few minutes in mine. You fucked her up with that paint. Must be the paint, I can’t see that little tool of yours doing much damage.” He reached down.

Ed-E beeped loudly and hovered closer.

Luke glanced up and its hand stilled before it could reach James. “See? I didn’t even say anything to it and it's not under orders to protect you, yet it’s freaking out.”

James looked up at her. “Is that right?”

“Yeah. It’s acting fiddly. Now, it’s a unique model. There’s none left since all the others got made into suits. If you’re interested in keeping Ed-E around, you can have it. But not for cheap.”

James swallowed. James glanced up at her, ran his gaze over her. He licked his bottom lip, then looked back to Luke. “How much?”

“A thousand caps.”

“What? I already paid way more than I should have that first time!”

“Yep. And you painted her. And broke her.”

James bit his bottom lip and turned his head away for a bit. “I can go 800. No higher.”

Ed-E held the laser sight steady.

“She could be free,” Luke continued the path that hand had first started, “I’m not an unreasonable guy.”

“How reasonable,” James’ tone remained the same flat. “You know, we’ve got whores here with more freedom to pick their partners than I do.”

“Not my fault it’s a piece of expensive junk because of you. Besides, you can fix it up real slowly, however you like. Once it’s yours.” It reached up and stroked large hands over her chassis.

She floated a bit higher but found Luke's reach too great to escape.

“You can do whatever you want with Ed-E. Just let me do whatever I want with you.”

James scooted away with quick palms and shifts of his lower half. “How’d you get in here, anyway?”

Luke grinned. “I’m good with my hands. But you know that.”

“I know you’re good at bruising with those hands and not much else. I never even got off.” He tugged the blanket up a bit and covered his chest more. “I can pay six hundred and you can… you can come by twice a week for two months. It ends if I pay faster.”

“No no no, we’re not going lower than my 1000 start. Anything less means more in the sack. But… if you want me for a half a year, three times a week, by all means. Pay 600.”

“That’s an interesting way to negotiate.” James pulled away from the hand, but it found James’ shoulder anyway and stroked.

“Interest is killer.” Luke leaned in, whispered those words.

“You’re a loan shark. I wouldn’t be surprised if you broke her yourself.”

Luke gripped James harder. “I could show you what it looks like when I break something.”

Ed-E beeped loudly and collapsed onto the bed.

“Do you see this? She won’t even hover right. Her price should be 2000, but I’m willing to settle.”

Ed-E rose again. She sputtered and sparked from her receiver.

“Does eight hundred work for you? Twice a week, two months?” James reached out and pulled her close.

Ed-E rested against his bare chest.

“Yeah. But I think I’m taking one of those time slots right now.” Luke pushed at her, then moved over James.

Ed-E waited. She adjusted her sensors. It had to be perfect.

“Not now, I’ve not slept. I wouldn’t be able to put up a fight anyway. Isn’t… isn’t that what you like?”

Luke narrowed its eyes, then moved off the bed and stood tall. “Then night night, Romeo. I’m coming back around tomorrow. Tell your sister not to hassle me at the door, and you better leave this room unlocked.”

“Sure. Though, I can’t promise what she’ll do. I’m not her keeper. She’s her own woman.”

“And I can’t promise what I’ll do if she gives me trouble.”

James swallowed. “Just go on and leave, would you? The more we talk, the less I sleep.”

Luke laughed. Luke left.

Ed-E floated over next to James.

He tugged her in again. “You’re not really broken, are you?”

Ed-E beeped quietly.

“I wouldn’t want to stick around that asshole either.”

Ed-E beeped louder.

“You know, that 800, some of it I was going to use to buy the harness for Francine. I just get myself…” He sighed and laid back. “I really fucked up this time. I… I didn’t hurt you, painting you red, did I?”

Ed-E beeped in the negative.

“Good. And what about the color, you were alright with red, right?”

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative.

“Did you… stop the first disk then? By yourself?”

Ed-E stayed quiet.

“I don’t mind. I didn’t really want the guy seeing what we got up to. He’s a real fucking creep. If he wasn’t in good with the King, I wouldn’t have even… I wouldn’t have let him work for me on finding Fisto.”

Ed-E flipped open the receiving slot.

“Do you… you want me to put it in?” He grinned a little.

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative.

James moved off the bed and padded across the wood floor to the dresser. He sorted among the other things and finally pulled out the holodisk.

Ed-E projected it on the wall for him. He went to sleep not long after it started.

When he finally woke, dressed, and left, so did Ed-E.

He didn’t notice.

\---~~~---

“Hey, did tall, dark, and asshole come in looking for me today?”

“Nope, haven’t seen him. Glad for it too. The guy’s a real twisted sonuvabitch.” Francine loosened her tie.

“So I’ve heard.”

“Hell kinda business you have with him anyway?” Francine tugged off her jacket and placed it on a hook.

“Well, he brought me Fisto. I know, I know, ‘robots are fucking weird’ yeah, I got it, Francine. I just owe him a bit of money.” He adjusted his tie.

“So he said.” She pulled her belt free from the skirt loops and set it over the hook too. She glanced over at Ed-E. “And then you broke that one as a bonus, or what?”

“Well, don’t say it, but if it’s not broke, don’t fix it, right?”

She chuckled. “Don’t tell me, you jiggled it around a little and he thought it was broke? That’s priceless. Bet it lowered the price too, even if it’s kinda sleazy. He deserves it. Fuck him.”

“Exactly. Though maybe you shouldn’t say…”

“Right, right. You know me, zipped lips. Your business ain’t mine.” She unzipped the side of her skirt and stepped into a robe. “My lids are dragging. I’m going to sleep. Good luck down there. And if he gives you any trouble, just tell him I’ll kick his ass.”

He snorted but smiled. “Will do.” He stepped to the door.

Ed-E attempted to follow.

James stopped her with a firm push of the door, then turned to face her. “You should stay here with her, Ed-E.”

“No, she shouldn’t.” Francine pulled the blanket up over her head. She cocooned. “It’s only your bedroom when you’re in it and I’m not. Take her with. Maybe she can work the floor like Fisto.”

“Maybe you can keep your business yours, and I can keep my business mine.” He opened the door and ushered Ed-E out. Down the stairs, he began, “Fisto doesn’t have any sort of working AI like yours. I can tell.”

Ed-E beeped softly.

“Right?”

Ed-E beeped softly.

“I guess you’re right. Still, with our workers, no one has to serve someone who’s a dick. Everyone knows that. I should probably tell him anyway though. I wouldn’t want him feeling like I--I wouldn’t want that. We don’t do slavery here. That’s Legion bullshit.”

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative.

\---~~~---

“Hey Pace, what’s the word?”

“Word is, that jackass extortionist got himself up and offed. Good riddance.” Pacer walked with a swagger, and his voice did too.

"Which one? Pick a guy, the town's full of them."

"That real bad one, always getting on my bad side. Luke."

“You didn’t do--”

“Me? No, and I’ve got ten guys who’ll say the same. It was a laser that did him in, and that’s just about the best thing those bastards over at the Silver Rush ever did. Not that it was them, of course. But I might be sending my old flame some flowers anyway.” He laughed. “And not just to piss her off, this time.”

James scrubbed a glass clean and clear and brought it up towards the light to examine. “Well, maybe I’ll send them a thank-you too.”

“Yeah? Here, I thought you were buddies with him, after giving him that job.”

James shrugged. “It was just business. He got it done well.”

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative.

\---~~~---

James waited until Francine left. Then he turned towards Ed-E and grinned wide. “You’re way smarter than I bet anyone ever gave you credit for. Or maybe someone did. Who made you? I'd send them a thank-you too. If they're still around.”

Ed-E didn’t beep. She whirred.

He stepped closer, examined her. “Something wrong?”

She didn’t have a projection. There was no holodisk or tape. This was her internal memory. Her own internal recording. A snippet from a time she barely remembered.

"I don't believe it! Grant actually went to Colonel Autumn and got approval for her damned efficiency guidelines. All experiments will be carried out with the test subject fully active to reduce iteration time. It's barbaric. I'd explained this to the colonel, just because the eyebots don't have true AI doesn't mean they're just machines. I guess results are all that matter around here. Forget things like ethical procedures or humane treatment. I'm starting to have serious misgivings about leadership around here. At least I've got you to talk to, huh, ED-E?" A voice she’d almost forgotten filled the room.

James blinked a few times. Then he reached up and touched her. “At least someone appreciated you, even if the others didn't. Though, I don’t know. You seem to have ‘true AI’ or whatever that is.”

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative.

He nodded. “You don’t have to stay, Ed-E. If you need to go or want to.”

Ed-E beeped in the negative.

He grinned. The hand pulled her in closer. “Well, that’s all the answer I needed to hear.”

Ed-E beeped in the affirmative as he carried her to the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, when I started this yesterday I planned for there to be one chapter. I said, haha, this'll be a great one shot while I think of an actual story.
> 
> This is the kind of crap I do to myself.
> 
> Additionally, Ed-E has learned interesting things about pronouns and what they mean about her like or dislike of another. Felt kinda bad writing that, being someone who gets misgendered a lot, but hey.

**Author's Note:**

> And then I finished my 'joke' story and I fucking Shipped Ed-E and James Garret. This is it folks, this is how people give THEMSELVES fetishes. This is BULLSHIT.
> 
> I can only hope I make at least one other sad sack out there ship those two because fuck if I want to be the only one doing it. I don't even LIKE robots. THIS ISN'T FUNNY, OK? 
> 
> Interested in talking to me and saying what you feel about a story, but nervous to leave a comment? Have prompts and want to maybe see them come to life?
> 
>  
> 
> [Join my discord server!](https://discord.gg/5ctd7mb)


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